لماذايصاب بعض الناس بالاضطراب العقلى ولايصاب به اخرون؟

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لماذا يصاب بعض الناس بالاضطراب العقلي ولا يصاب به آخرون؟ نحن نعاني من الاضطراب العقلي عندما لا نقيم ونتقبل أنفسنا. هذه الطريقة في التفكير تأتي غالبا من مرحلة الطفولة عندما قررنا أننا لا بد وأن نكون سيئين وغير مقبولين، بخلاف ذلك فلعل عوائلنا لم تعاملنا كما يجب. هذا يجعل من الصعب جدا علينا أن نواجه الصعاب والكوارث التي قد نمر بها.

كل منا ينمو ومعه جملة من الأفكار حول من نكون، وكيف كانت حياتنا وكيف ستكون، وكيف العالم من حولنا. هذه الأفكار تتولد من تجاربنا السابقة، ولأنه لا يوجد شخصان مرا بنفس التجربة فإنه لا يوجد شخصان يتفقان تماما في نظرتهما إلى الأمور. أفكارنا ليست صورة مطابقة لما يحدث حولنا، بل هي جملة من التخمينات أو النظريات حول ما يحدث حولنا. إذا نشأنا ونحن نظن أن العالم هو كما نراه فنصدم بشدة عندما نكتشف أن الأشياء ليس كما ظننا أنها كانت، وأننا قد ارتكبنا خطأ كبيرا في حكمنا عليها.

كلما تمر بنا كارثة غير متوقعة نكتشف أن هناك بونا شاسعا بين ما ظنناه حياتنا وما هي في الواقع. ربما، كما هو حال كثير من الأمريكيين، كنا نظن حياتنا آمنة ثم عانينا من هجوم إرهابي. لعلنا ظننا أننا سنمضي حياتنا مع شخص معين، ثم غادرنا ذلك الشخص أو توفي. لعلنا نشأنا ونحن نظن أننا إذا كنا طيبين فلن يقع بنا مكروه، ثم وقع بنا مكروه ما.

وكلما نكتشف أننا ارتكبنا خطأ فادحا في حكمنا على الأمور فسنبدأ في الشك في كل حكم سبق أن حكمنا به. ثم نشعر بالوهن، نشعر بأننا ننهار ونتحطم ونتلاشى. إذا قيمنا وتقبلنا أنفسنا فسنجد الثقة في أنفسنا وحتى لو كنا خائفين فسنقول لأنفسنا إن هذا شعور سيزول وأننا سنواجه التحدي وسنواجه كل ما سيأتي. وإذا لم نقيم أنفسنا ونشعر نحوها إيجابيا فبهذه الطريقة سنشعر أننا على وشك أن نتحطم كأشخاص. وسنشعر أننا نستأصل ونختفي كقطرة تسقط في المحيط. وسنكون عندها مرعوبين تماما.

كلما خفنا أننا سنتدمر فسنحاول أن نجد دفاعا ما لنبقى متماسكين. وكلما كان شعورنا نحو أنفسنا أقل تفاؤلا كلما كان الدفاع الذي نلجأ إليه أشد يأسا. هذه الدفاعات قد تشمل:

إيذاء أجسادنا بالجرح أو بالتجويع
لوم أنفسنا على الكارثة، فنصبح مكتئبين
نربط سبب خوفنا بالعالم حولنا فنمتنع من التجول خوفا.
المسارعة إلى العالم حولنا لنشغل أنفسنا أكثر وأكثر
محاولة جعل كل شيء آمنا عن طريق التنظيف والتأكد من كل شيء على نحو موسوس.
التراجع إلى عالمنا الداخلي الخاص وترك محاولة فهم العالم من حولنا بالطريقة التي يتبعها الآخرون.
نحن لا نختار دفاعا معينا عن وعي، بل في عجلة وبغير وعي نسارع إلى اللجوء إلى الدفاع الموجود أمامنا تبعا للطريقة التي ننظر بها إلى أنفسنا وإلى عالمنا. على سبيل المثال، إذا كنت متمرسا في إلقاء اللوم على نفسك في كل أمر يحدث على غير ما يرام فسوف تلوم نفسك على الكارثة التي تنزل بك.

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