لماذا يا حبيبتى

[معتز السعفان]

لماذا يا حبيبتى




فى يوم من الايام سالتنى حبيبتى هل تحبنى

الاجابه
لا تساليني هذا السؤال

فقد اعياني القول وتقطعت بي الكلمات والمعاني وضاق بي الوجود
وتلاشت كل المفردات والحروف
ولم اجد جاوبا لهذا
لا تساليني هذا السؤال
فقد تلعثم التفكير وتطاير مني التعبير وبت ابحث
عن متنفس عن مأوى يأويني
لكي اهرب من عجزي ومن ضعفي عن الرد
لا تساليني كم احبك
فقد انهزمت واندحرت كل امكانيات القول وتبخرت شجاعتي
وحجة لساني وظهرضعف بياني
وفشلت من العثورعلى جواب
لا تساليني كم احبك
فانا عاجز وخائب ولا اعرف كيف اعبر عن حبي
لالا هو ليس حب فقط
ولم يعد لهذه الكلمه وجودا في مفردات عشقي انها لاتعني
شيئا في ملكوت غرامي فانا لا اردد كلمات قالها غيري
فانتي ياسيدتي لست مثل باقي النساء حتى اردد على
مسامعها كلمات الحب
ما اقوله لكي ياسيدتي هي كلمات لم تحضى بمثلها باقي النساء
لا تساليني كم احبك
وقد فقدت الاحساس بكل شيء غيرك
فاصبحتي في كل اتجاهاتي
فانا ياسيدتي رجل رفض الوجود الا بك
وانا ياسيدتي
رفض الجميع لاجلك
انا سيدتي عاشقا لااخشى البوح باسمك الا من خوفي عليك





انا ياسيدتي
رجلا عشت عمري اراك امام عيني سرابا
فبقيت اسير في كل الاتجاهات ابحث عنك
فقد اعياني الظمأ واظناني الوجد والاحتياج
وكنت اعلم انك قادمه لامحاله وعندما وجدتك
علمت انني كنت قبلك لاشيء واصبحت املك كل شيء
فلم يعد يهمني بهذا الكون الا وجودك
وانني اسالك ان لاتخلصيني من هذا ولاتمنحيني شيء من مفردات وجودك
ولا اريد الاحياة لكي امنحك اكثرواقضي عمري متوشحا بوسام وجودك
نعم يا امرأة وجدت بها كل احلام رجلا ظل طوال عمره
يبحث عن حقيقته الغائبه
نعم ياامرأة افردت لها كل مساحات البقاء
نعم ياامرأة انارت لي حياتي فكانت كشمعة الميلاد
التي كل ما اقتربت منها انارت
الكون من حولي
بل انها لم تكتفي بهذا فقد اشعلت قناديل روحي
واضاءت مايحتويني فبدأت شراييني
تتوهج بها وانني ياسيدتي ارى نورك يخرج من مساماتي
وان اردتي ان تساليني ؟فقولي من انا بالنسبة لك؟
ساقول لك يا سيدتي
ان لكل رجلا حياة تشبه الخط المستقيم تبدأ من لا شيء وتنتهي باي شيء
وانا بدأت من لا شيء لكنك كنت آخر نقطه بحياتي
وتخيلي
هل يستطيع مخلوق ان يتجاوزآخر نقطة بحياته
هل يستطيع احدا ان يتخطي نهايته
كلا يا سيدتي
فقد وصلت بك الى آخر نقطه في خط سيري
وقد يكون هناك الكثير غيري من يصل الى هذه النقطه
ولكن الفارق بيني وبينهم
انني لا استطيع حتى ان انظر الى الخلف
فقد وقفت اتأملك
وقفت مبهورا بهذه الحياه
وقفت وقد تلاشى من وجودي كل خيط يعيدني الى الماضي
وفقدت كل السبل لتجاوز هذه النقطه
وصلت بك ولك عند آخر السطر
وفقدت كل مقومات الرغبه وغير الرغبه بان اتنحى اواعيد السير من جديد
وها انا ذا اقف على اعتاب بلاط ملكوتك
عاشقا متلهفا للرضى والقبول
اقف ياسيدتي
أسال الله ان تلمحيني وان تقرأي بعيني كل مايخالج فكري وقلبي
اقف ياسيدتي
هائما احمل بكفي كل اوراق سنين عمري لاقدمها لك قربانا لكي
تغفري لي اياما عشتها قبلك
اقف امامك وانااحمل فوق كفي كل اركان الولاء
اقف ياسيدتي وليس لي غيرك مبتغى
اقف ياسيدتي لا أسألك كل الرضى
فانا اريد فقط
ان اكون بحياتك اي شيء
وتبقى ياسيدتي كل الكلمات ضائعه تائهه حيرى فهي لاتصل اليك
كما اريد وكما اشعر بها
فاغفري لي زلتي وتلعثم لساني


((اسير حبك ))





وفجاة تقول كم اتمنى بكاء ذلك العينين

هكذا يا حبيبتى تتمنين لى البكاء
لتزدادين فرحا وسعادة




حبيبتي

سأبقى أسير حبك لو انفكت القيود..
وأبقى رهين قلبك لو جفت جميع البحور
.أي سجن اشد من الم بعدك فانا الأسير الذي اسمي يجول في صدرك
عيناك تقول وشفتاك تهمس باسمي
لا تعذبني لتثبت صدق قلبي ...ارحمني
من لوعة الحب فانا للموت امضي لا تهجرني..
ألا يكفي انى أسير حبك.

حبيبتي
مهما وصفتك , ومهما ذكرت الصور الجميلة التي تمر في خيالي .
وذكرت الأحرف الرقيقة التي تصفك , فستظل الأحرف جافة وحتى لو تخيلت أن عبير الزهر يضئ من خديك .
وقلت إن ضياء الشمس وجمال البدر من جمالك , فأنت تعلمين انك اكبر من كل ما يمكن أن يقال .
فأنت هي أنت فقط . اعترف بأنني أسير حبك وهيامك وهذا أمر عادي ومتوقع .
تدرين لماذا ؟
ولأنني عندما اقترب منك يزداد خفقان قلبي , وينهمر دمع الفرح من عيني .
ولأن قلبي كالعصفور المسجون الذي يتوق للحرية .

واليك بعض الكلمات ..
التي كم تمنيت أن تكون لي !!!
ما زلت أحبك ..
وما زالت عيناك مكان سجني ..
وما زال قلبك موطن حبي ..
وما زال الأمل موطن عيشي ومماتي ..
وما زال .. وما زال ..

>>> وعلى العهد سأبقى ولن انساك يا غاليتي <<< ومهما وصفتى ومهما قلتى
افبعد كل هذا تتمنين لى البكاء
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Went out to the airport to fly with China Southern (http://www.chinatraveldepot.com/China-Southern-Airlines)into the southwestern part of China, Guilin, I began my Guilin Travel (http://www.chinatraveldepot.com/Travel-to-Guilin), one part of our China Vacations (http://www.chinatraveldepot.com/). They began by asking for full fare, but I asked for the discount price. They dropped the price by 40 percent, but this is China and you negotiate everything here, so I offered less than half. However, I found out later that china domestic flights (http://www.chinatraveldepot.com/ChinaFlights/)airfares are not negotiable and I suppose she thought I should have known this already. An hour later I came to my Guilin Hotels (http://www.chinatraveldepot.com/CH939-Guilin-Hotels). This turns out to be an interesting enough place, but I’m not making the most of it. Heat and humidity again, coupled with some normal enough rain and some real torrential downpours. Don’t want to know what “spicy” means. Interestingly, some of the snails were, well, pregnant and they had a lot of slightly crunchy tiny snails inside of them. A bit odd if you think about it while chewing, so I tried not to. But I couldn’t help feeling that somehow my hunger and need for nourishment were responsible for these baby snails never even having had a chance in this world. There’s also a big night market here. Long double row of stands selling combs, t-shirts with Che Guevara’s face or something silly written on it (, bracelets, tea, “jade” buddhas, wooden flutes, caricatures and colourful kitsch. You find the Western version of this associated with any travelling circus. It was all new and the sort of thing you look at several days after you’ve brought it home and think Why in the hell did I buy that? Maybe it just looked good to you under the bright lights. At home it takes on its true appearance: cheap junk. I bought a bracelet of wooden beads. But it’s different.